I will be the first do admit that I need Jesus. Everyday of my life I focus on how I can better become like Him, yet fail to come close. My conversations are always about prayer, intimacy, scriptures, and how God works, but I find that when I am alone, He is the last person I spend time with. I know about prayer, but I don't practice it. I know I am supposed to have intimacy with God, but I feel so distant and unknown by the man called Jesus.
What is faith and why is it so difficult to find it in this world that seems fogged by false idols and hopes?
Recently, I have been experiencing things that make me feel so depressed and discouraged, it really emphasizes how I care about nothing except knowing God. I just don't know how to know Him like I am supposed to.
I strongly believe there has to be a pursuit involved, even with the gift of grace. I have to desire to receive and I have to pursue the one who is in turn pursuing me. Yet everything that surrounds me suffocates me and I feel I have forgotten or maybe never even known how to pursue. Is it truly this complex? Or is faith so simple and divine that as sinful beings all we know how to do is make it complicated...
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