Alright ladies, here we go again! You all deserve to look and feel beautiful, as well as have a dress you can love and wear again. So I need votes! I am less concerned about color now and more concerned about finding a dress that we all love! Please give me feedback :) &if you don't like any of them, I am open to more suggestions!
I will be the first do admit that I need Jesus. Everyday of my life I focus on how I can better become like Him, yet fail to come close. My conversations are always about prayer, intimacy, scriptures, and how God works, but I find that when I am alone, He is the last person I spend time with. I know about prayer, but I don't practice it. I know I am supposed to have intimacy with God, but I feel so distant and unknown by the man called Jesus.
What is faith and why is it so difficult to find it in this world that seems fogged by false idols and hopes?
Recently, I have been experiencing things that make me feel so depressed and discouraged, it really emphasizes how I care about nothing except knowing God. I just don't know how to know Him like I am supposed to.
I strongly believe there has to be a pursuit involved, even with the gift of grace. I have to desire to receive and I have to pursue the one who is in turn pursuing me. Yet everything that surrounds me suffocates me and I feel I have forgotten or maybe never even known how to pursue. Is it truly this complex? Or is faith so simple and divine that as sinful beings all we know how to do is make it complicated...
With death there is life and with life there is death.
On Thursday morning, while others began their coffee pots and morning showers, I boarded a plane headed for the only place I wanted to be; the same place my husband to be was headed. While he headed west, I headed east and on Thursday morning, we met in the middle of the United States and Denver International Airport. I cannot tell you how anticipated this weekend had been. Not only would we begin pre marital counseling and see each other after another long six weeks of life, but it marked one of the last visits before the wedding. With visits being six to eight weeks apart and the wedding being only five months away, we knew this trip could only mean we are getting closer.
What I didn't expect though, was that I would leave on Monday afternoon feeling more broken, depressed, and discouraged than I have in a while. And yet in the midst of those feelings, they would be accompanied with feelings of hope, confidence, and excitement. God always seems to hit you hardest when you don't expect it.
A Letter to a Broken Family.
Dear Broken Family,
My name is Kayti and this past weekend I had the absolute privilege of attending a conference with my soon to be husband. The conference was called Love and Respect and was put on by Emerson Eggerichs and his wife. Years back they discovered a basic truth and principle that is so simple, yet so key to marriage. Ever since, they have written books and traveled the world preaching the good news of God's restoration and hope for broken marriages and families.
I learned so much at this conference and I would really encourage you and any of your friends to read this book or listen to the principles of the Eggerichs' teachings. They speak about the importance of love and respect in a household and how important it is for both concepts to team together. If both principles are not present, than problems will begin to arise.
Women are created to love and to be loved where Men are created to respect and to be respected.
Neither are wrong, they are just different.
When a woman refuses to respect her husband, he typically will respond without love.
When a husband treats his wife without love, she will typically respond without respect.
You see how the cycle works?
As I was at this conference, I became encouraged for my future with my husband to be and excited to begin a journey of respecting him and all that he does for me. You see, God did not create women to naturally understand respect. With girlfriends, you never hear them fighting and saying, "You just don't respect me." Women desire to be appreciated, loved on, and have intimate conversations in order to feel close to others. This is why it is such a Godly principle for women to learn to respect their husbands. Men need to know that they are appreciated and respected for providing financially, protecting the family, remaining faithful to their wife, etc. The proper response to a man getting a promotion in his job is not, "I love you so much because you work," but, "I respect you so much for all of the hard work you do and sacrifices you make for me." As a woman myself, this seems difficult to understand. Why does, "I love you," not translate to, "I respect you?" But, as stated, men and women are created differently. It is not wrong, just different.
In turn, when a man talks down to a women, he deflates her spirit. Women are not guys and cannot be talked to like a man would talk to a man. Most men, when they have conflicts with one another, don't sit for three hours discussing the problem. They get over it and move on. When a man does this to a woman though, she feels he is being unloving because he doesn't want to to talk through the problem. Also, when a woman raises kids, holds a job, goes to school, etc. she needs to know that she is appreciated and noticed for her achievements. Minimizing achievements, in the case of a man or woman, is just hurtful. Women need to be nurtured and loved on.
As my college pastor says, "Men are like thermoses and women are like goblets. Men can be thrown around while women shatter easily."
I understand that these are such tiny examples and that you may be thinking, "You don't know how my husband/wife/daughter/son/father/mother treats me and what we have been going through," and you are right, I don't know. The point is though, my age and the fact that I am not married yet do not determine my wisdom in this area. Experience is NOT what determines whether your marriage is successful. Let me repeat. EXPERIENCE IS NOT WHAT DETERMINES WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE IS A SUCCESS.
Before I walk down the aisle, as of today, I have decided that 1. Divorce is not an option nor a word in my vocabulary and 2. I serve God and only God, not my family or my husband.
These decisions that I make now will not change when I am married and therefore do not determine wisdom in this area. God has called us to something and once we make that decision, there are not ifs, thens, or buts. There is no door to exit my marriage or my family.
If you are wondering why I am sharing this small amount of information compared to the vast amount I learned this weekend, it is because, this weekend I witnessed life and death.
As we left the conference, I couldn't help but want to be alone to just weep. Half of my heart was rejoicing because I am still able to apply these principles and begin my marriage off on the Godly path. Half of my heart was crying tears of joy as I watched couples reunite together and have their first conversation in over ten years. Half of my heart was praising the Lord because He was restoring broken families in the midst of my presence. But half of my heart was broken and discouraged beyond repair because I saw that, for some couples, this news was not enough to overcome their selfishness. Half of my heart wept tears of anguish for what marriage has become in the sight of the world. Half of my heart felt angry and distressed that families no longer share dinner with one another, mothers feel unloved, fathers feel disrespected, children are disobedient, and silence rules the house. Half of my heart was, and still feels, broken.
In this conference, regardless of how God created men and women, I learned one important thing.
Marriage and relationships are not about me and they are all about me. This means that, regardless of how Anthony treats me, once I have said my vows before God and the church, I have promised God to respect him and love him until the day I die. Regardless of if I ever feel loved by my husband, father, mother, sisters, or brother, the Lord has called me to treat them in accordance to HIS WORD. So, it is not about me, but it is all about me, because I am responsible for the way I treat people.
Unconditional respect triggers unconditional love and unconditional love triggers unconditional respect.
And if it doesn't? I will still respect and love unconditionally because I choose not to live by the standards of Hollywood, but by the standards of the Holy Word.
So, broken family, please reconsider closing off your relationships. Whether it is deciding to not talk, filing divorce, emancipation, etc. remember that this is not about you and you are called not to quit, but to fight.
This past weekend, Anthony and I went skating at an outdoor rink in Lakewood, CO. Afterward, I surprised him with a Korean dinner. While in Korea, I tried a food called Shabu-Shabu and have been wanting to eat it again. I finally found a great place only 3 miles from the ice rink and we enjoyed rice wine, potstickers, Shabu-Shabu (an Asian-style of fondu), and Tempura Banna Split. Our table was a few steps underneath the main floor and we had to take our shoes off and climb down into a box so to speak.
A stack of books to keep me occupied on this dreary Tuesday.
I finally had the opportunity to try a new recipe out on Anthony this weekend. For Valentine's Day I cooked Vanilla-Cinnamon French toast covered in blueberries, bacon, and maple syrup. I was quite pleased with how it turned out :)
The United States makes up 4% of the world's population, where India and China make up about 40%. We are laughed at for attending mega churches in buildings. We are the weird ones and are different for not suffering from persecution. Watch Chan's challenging message about what the gospel really means and how it looks in your own life.
