After two full days of searching and a lot of praying, Anthony and I signed a lease!  Being military, he only has ten days to find a place for us to live for the next few years, so this past week him and I drove all around Fort Collins and exhausted every rental agency as well as craigslist.  The first day was really discouraging as anything in our budget was laughable.  We had a good time laughing about how run down some of the places were, but at the same time we felt anxious about finding a home.  The second day shed much more light though as we found a place that had every single thing on our checklist and more.  God was extremely faithful with providing and literally two hours after we applied for the home we received a call saying it was ours.  I think the most excitement comes from being able to see ourselves in this home.  As soon as I saw it, I turned to Anthony and said, "Ok picture this..." We were easily able to picture ourselves living in this place and it really reflects a lot of our personalities.  Anyways, pictures to come as we make it our own, but for a preview, here is one of the rooms that sold it for me :)

The picture of the floor doesn't do it justice,
but it was a huge part of the decision.  We didn't want carpet
and this tile reminds us both of being somewhere near the ocean.
Plus I could totally picture myself pouring a cup of coffee
in this kitchen! :)

Please keep us in your prayers as we begin moving our stuff in Wednesday!

Summer Bungalow.

Until the moving into our new house...

DIY Centerpieces.

I get inspiration in these random spurts.  For example, tonight I was exhausted and cancelled a girls night to come home and sleep.  Before crawling in bed, I decided to look online for a couple ideas for reception centerpieces.  I came across a picture of fabric flowers that I really liked and now, almost three hours later, I am writing a blog and staring at my new sample centerpiece.  Here is a rough example of what I think I am going to go with:

I used pinto beans as an example for what will be
coffee beans in the final product.

The lace jar will have a tea light candle inside.

My grandma says you always decorate in odd numbers
so I added a little card with a C.S. Lewis quote since
we won't be having assigned seating or table numbers.

Behind the Scenes of a Restaurant

Ever since I was a sophomore in high school, I have worked at our local steakouse: Texas Roadhouse.  I started as a hostess and then moved up to server.  Now, when I come home from college over Christmas or in the summer, I always get put back on the schedule.  I love my job though.  Yes, you get some grumpy tables who leave horrible tips, but you also get great tables who actually leave twenty percent or more.  The job never ceases to surprise you or keep you entertained and, to be honest, I would way rather be payed daily then take home a check every two weeks.

Last night I had an experience that I will honestly remember for the rest of my life and I get really emotional just thinking about it.  I have been back for about a week now and last night was my first Saturday night shift ( these typically run seven hours and are extremely busy).  Early on in the evening I greeted a table that consisted of two men and two women in their mid fifties.  It looked like they could have all been related, brothers with their wives possibly.  The different part about this table though, was that one of the men was deaf.  Without any knowledge of sign language, I struggled trying to take his order and just stood trying to speak slowly and watch what he was trying to make out.  I don't believe his disability had been life long because no one at the table seemed to know sign language and so we all worked together to figure out what he was trying to say.  This repeated for about an hour an a half as I brought drinks, salads, and the food while trying to make sure everything was as desired.

The other man at the table kept continually saying, "Thank you so much for being patient," and I could'nt help but think, "Of course."  I kept wondering if this family had had a prior negative experience where they had felt rushed or overlooked by their server.  I wanted to make them feel as comfortable as possible.

As I said goodbye and handed them their payed out check, they smiled and asked to see my manager.  If you are a server, you know that this always makes you uneasy regardless of how nice the table was.  As I stood by, I watched as they told my manger how great it was having me as a server.  ( I am not saying this to brag on myself, but rather to complete the story)  Feeling a little awkward that they had just complimented me, I did not want to walk by past the table again, so I waited till they got up to leave before heading back over.  As the exited the restaurant, they all stopped and waved saying "Thank you so much!" as if I had done them a great service that I was unaware of.  The deaf man, who was last to leave, then came up to me and gave me a huge hug.  I was overwhelmed and almost began to cry as this man hugged me while trying to get these few words out, he murmured, "It was so nice to meet you! Thank you!" As he pulled away, he pointed to himself and said, "I'm from California!" I just began to laugh as I said, "Me too! Have a great night sir!"

This story may sound simple or small, but it really made my night and week as a whole.  I did nothing for this table except act human and remain patient and kind, and they felt like they were being treated like royalty.

As a final note, Anthony, my fiance, really has a heart for the deaf community.  He knows sign language and used to spend a lot of time with deaf children, just playing with them at their school.  We have discussed before the possibility of adopting a child with this disability.  I don't know what the future holds, all I know is that this man really impacted my week by showing his love and compassion through his eyes and attempts to communicate.  I felt I communicated with him more so than any person I have ever served before.

Servers don't always spit in your food or act fake to your table.  Sometimes people really impact us and touch our hearts.

bridesmaids' packages.

One thing that I love about planning a wedding is how creative it allows you to be.  I found this idea online and personalized it with my own touches.  I plan to have a lot more DIY projects as the wedding comes closer, but here is one in particular that I had fun creating for my bridesmaids.

embracing the mountains.

I am finally home for the summer in the fresh state of Colorado.  After 16 hours in a overly packed car, I have safely made it home.  I thought that leaving California would be difficult because of my love for the beach, but surprisingly, I felt a new joy and excitement in my heart when I could finally see the Colorado mountains again.  The stress of LA traffic and smoggy air disappeared and I couldn't help but feel at peace as I drove on the three lane highway into Colorado Springs taking in the crisp air and bright stars; this is home.  This morning I embraced sleeping in and woke up to the familiar sound of birds chirping in the almost summer morning proceeded by cooking breakfast and enjoying a large cup of coffee.  I do not think I have moved from my spot on the couch all morning as I have been journaling, reading, and cleaning my computer of all the school work from this last semester.  And all this time the number of days until the wedding, 54, have been ringing in the back up my head.

Although my day today may sound like a typical lazy summer day, my summer will be nothing of the sort. Although excited, I am also overwhelmed and nervous about the new lists I will have to make today.  Rather than them having papers and projects written down with their due dates, they will have appointments, deadlines, and things to do before the big day.  I am very excited as planning is one of my favorite things to do, but I am also beyond myself at imaging how everything I need to do will get done in the next few weeks.

Also to accompany my planning, I am ecstatic to begin once again training, but in a much higher altitude.  I am not one hundred percent sure, but as one of my goals this year was to run a 10k, I am either going to be running the boulderBoulder on May 30th or the Estes Park 10k in the middle of June.  For most, 6 miles may seem like a breeze, but my longest thus-far is 4 and I am ready to reach this new goal and enjoy the training process as well.

On another note, a day that I thought would never come is near arrival: May 23rd, aka the day Anthony and I will begin living in the same state together!  What a concept right?  After nearly a year and a half of long distance, he will finally move to our new home in Fort Collins on May 23 and I will continue to live in Colorado Springs until the wedding (The distance is about 2 hours). We are SO excited to find a house, move in, and enjoy weekends together until the wedding. To be honest, we both just laugh when we think about actually seeing each other for more than a week at a time. It's a whole new idea to us! 

I also begin work in a few days. I honestly feel so blessed to have a job that I can continually rely on for Christmas breaks and summers.  I have been at Texas Roadhouse for over three years now, sometimes for a period of a year and other times, just to pick up a shift or two.  It will be nice to have a reliable job again for those of you who know how difficult this semester has been financially. It is definitely cool though to look back and see that I made it and God did provide.

On a final note, leaving APU has still not really set in yet.  For those of you who know, APU was a much larger attachment for me than just the two years I attended, but rather I began looking at APU in the spring of 2008.  For the last 3 years APU has been the center of my prayers and life.  Whether I was just praying that God would provide financially so that I could attend or I was finally living on campus, the school has more attachments to my heart than I think I even realize myself.  I am by no means detached or have emotional closure.  I know this will be a process that I have to continually work through.  To some, it may seem like leaving APU was my choice because I did decide to get married and leave, and although true, I really believe that I had little control in when I met Anthony and the rate at which our relationship progressed.  For those of you who have had this experience or have done long distance, I think you know what I am talking about. The four year plan sounded good in theory, but although it is for some people, it was not for us and I could not be happier to be marrying him and starting life together.  I never imagined that I would not be graduating for APU though or that it would hold little significance in the degree I received, but I know that God is in control and I feel absolutely blessed and thrilled that I get to have both the experience of a Christian University as well as a state school.  It is like I get to experience and learn from both worlds; an opportunity that not many have.  So, yes, it is very difficult leaving APU and I have ALOT to work through in order to get to a healthy place of closure because I am really going to miss it there and miss the people I have encountered, but I do feel like it was the right decision and I am excited for the journey to come.

A best friend of mine gave me the idea of making a poster with writing down everything God did in my life while at APU and being single so that, when I do start at CSU and am married, I will have a healthy closure with the past chapters of life and be able to be thankful and appreciative for all God did in those times while being excited for what He will do in the future.

That is all for now.  Look for pictures to come of my summer getaway room, as I am calling it. :)  Chocolate wood floors and tan walls will encompass my stay at home this summer and I am excited to decorate and move in starting this afternoon!

the updates of life

WOW. it has been forever I feel like! Mostly because I just feel that so much has happened in the last few weeks that I am entirely different person. I have been wanting to blog and keep saying that I am going to, but I seem to never find the time anymore. I had a really big desire to blog tonight for some reason. Maybe because I feel inspired. All I know is that I feel like writing and expressing a tiny glimpse of what has been going on in my life.


Well for those of you who don't already know, Anthony and I were stationed in Wyoming (not any of the vacation destination states featured a few blogs back).  It was very, very difficult to accept this fact of life, but, in time we have both come to terms with why God placed us there for the next 3 years of life and although it is not the new adventure of Hawaii I was hoping for, I am just excited to begin life with my best friend and be so close to family at the same time.  As many of you also know, there is no way we were going to live in Wyoming (sorry for those of you who love the state), but rather we are going to be living in Fort Collins so I can finish school and Anthony will do the 30 minute commute to work. We actually got to visit a few weeks back and let's just say I have never seen so many people riding bikes in my life (not even in California!) and it seems like a place that will be really fun to explore. Plus, I feel blessed to have the opportunity to attend both a private Christian University as well as a state school and I am excited to move up there.


In other news, a few topics that have been forcefully placed on my mind recently that I have been WRESTLING with are the heavy topics of gender, sexuality, and race. I am taking this class that has completely destroyed me from the inside out and as much as I would love to act like I have it all together, I am a wreck internally most of the time. I wish I could blog about all that has been going on, but I really wouldn't even know where to begin. Right now though, I am writing a paper on human sexuality that is consuming my interests. I am actually loving the research and find it fascinating.  I am by no means a supporter of sexual activity before marriage because I still believe it is a holy and sacred gift, but I also have experienced a lot of shame and guilt myself for ever having sexual desires because no one seems to know how to discuss it...

to accompany this you have the whole discussion on placing gender roles on society, racism through ignorance, oppression of homosexuals, etc.

light subjects right? I find it is hard to find anyone to really talk to because we (including myself) are so wrapped up in our political parties and clinging to our one beloved scripture that has usually been taken out of context, that we never really listen to people. Ironic that I used to be the kind of person who did not care what other people had to say unless it agreed with my worldview. I guess God is just teaching me that one way He is revealed the most is through His creation: humanity.  All my life I have hardly cared to understand people, especially if they were different then me. God has really been shutting me up lately and telling me to just listen and care, regardless of if I agree.

At the same time though, I have definitely not embraced a "no care" attitude towards what God means by living Holy. I guess it is just figuring out what that word means in relation to who God is, who people are, and the connection.

As you can see... it has been a tiring semester for my brain. And I by no means believe I am right in anything, I just desire to know the heart of God and how it applies to my life and humanity.

I am excited to continue exploring this paper topic though and actually writing it. It is my last big hurdle before the end of the semester and I am trying to get it done by Sunday so that I have all next week to relax and enjoy APU for the last time. If you want to help please take this survey at:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/X6NKSQD


Finally, I guess I am just getting ready to head home for the summer and prepare for the wedding! I cannot believe it is almost only 2 months away... time flies!

I will try to be blogging more, especially as summer sets in. And keep your eye out for my paper...like I said I am really excited about it because this is a huge burden on my heart that will further be explained in the paper. I will most likely post it to a coming blog. That is all for tonight.